(no subject)

Some ass_hole gave me a livejournal nudge, so I thought I would update at least one last time. I can see the service has basically become a vast wilderness of Russian spammers who are trying to get links from LJ back to their website for the purpose of search engine optimization -- the very reason why every time you search the internet, you find less information and more "content."

"Content" is what people write to get Google spiders to pay attention to their website. It expresses no genuine knowledge or information whatsoever, and it mysteriously uses the same meaningless, often ungrammatical phrases buy treadmill australia throughout. It is usually tucked safely away in a collection of websites buy treadmills australia that no human being will ever actually read, such as ezinearticles.

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"Content" is destroying the internet, since it's basically the only way fitness treadmills anyone can make any money on said internet, regardless of the quality of their information or the value of the service they have to offer treadmills for home. As time goes by, the internet will become one of the least effective or reliable sources of actual data around, except for a few bastions like Wikipedia.

Wikipedia, in turn, will continue to be attacked by wise old academics, whose concern for the collective enlightenment of humanity is so profound they hide their vast knowledge in research libraries that require third-generation Illuminati membership to get into, and put the leftover dregs behind $50-per-article payment windows.

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In fact, nobody should ever concern themselves with selling a good product, because once you're getting 1,000 hits a day, you'll always have enough new people coming in who think you're worth buying from because you're #1 on Google. You could choose not to sell these people what they paid for at all, sending them -- for example -- exquisitely handcrafted Fabrege turds -- and you'd make money until the FTC shut you down -- because it would be impossible for customer complaints about you to rank on the search engines.

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As for me, I seem to be one of the only people in the world who ever used the internet to pursue genuine friendships. But the fact is, I don't miss the internet, I don't miss livejournal, and I don't miss those friends. I especially don't miss the horde of romantic entanglements with pill-popping Asatru and gas-huffing hipsters that had to do with the internet. At this point, lifelong chastity will be relaxing. Whiplash insurance claims.

I am the stories of Horatio Alger as written by Dale Carnegie. I started off in the mailroom, writing content make real money online and now I am about to move to the most glamorous part of Florida, where I will relax on a sun-drenched beach while an increasingly larger number of people do all my work for me, until me and my beard are too busy financing Les Miserables in Space to remember that I even had a past, and did not emerge fully formed from the mind of Zeus just like this.

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Both because and in spite of that, I don't have anything further to say on here in this lifetime.


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  • Current Mood
    good good
Shou Tucker -- the Marriage Counselor Al

statistically speaking ...

By the time I'm done building my business, the cute girls I knew who got married to the first pendulous, swinging dick they encountered will all be divorced!

Expert timing!
  • Current Music
    Good Charlotte - Girls and Boys

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Life lesson from my Livejournal days: If you want to keep people from screwing you, pass silently and leave no trace. Otherwise, always carry lube.

Writer's Block: School Ties

What is (or was) your college major? Do you use it for your career?
My major was Getting Fucked Over By The Man With a Life-Long Debt I Can Never Repay. If you're not going to college for a boring subject that includes a job at the end, you will end up a slave. Thieves and scoundrels are counting on you to do so, so that you too can live in permanent debt peonage. Serfdom, ho!